{{NSFW}}A dad and son are taking a long car drive out of town to their summer home, the son asks about the dads childhood, the dad begins the story. "Back in my day, I was always outside. Not inside watching porn and smoking crack like you kids today do. I would spend time with my family. In fact, I think the best moments of my life were spent at a very old restaurant called Freddy Fuckboy's Pizza Shithole. My father would always slap my mum to pay for the food. She always did even though my pappy made all the money from being a porn star. We would sit up close to the stage, order the biggest pizza we could, and watch the band play heavy metal dubstep hip hop on the stage. They weren't very good, but my family and I loved it anyway. But, one day, everything changed. I got up and went to go to the bathroom. "Where the bloody fucking spankin' hell are you going you twat?!" my father exclaimed. "To take a gigantic shit in the white bowl in the back of the shithole we call a restaurant!" I replied. He gave me the middle finger and off I went. I sat down on the shitter while I read what others have wrote on the walls, "FUCK ME FREDDY!" was wrote on the wall. I decided to take out my IPhone, I went on Pornhub and started watching some gay porn. I was sitting on the white shit bowl touching myself to gay porn, when I heard a noise coming from the vent under the sinks. I looked through the crack off the stall door and saw Bonnie Bitchtits crawling out of the vent. I was shocked. I even shit myself a little more than I had expected. I kept watching. Then, all of a sudden, one of the toilets start to flush. There was no one in the bathroom when I walked in, except for the horny hobo with his face passed out in the urinal. I looked under the stall next to me and saw two big furry metal paws on the ground. I jerked back to a sitting position as another shit forced itself out of my ass, turning off my phone. It was Foxy Fuckface.I stare at Springshit in absolute amazement. He gestures for me to walk over to him with one of his fingers. I slowly walk up towards him. He says to me in a distorted voice, "Wannna know what I do for a living, kid?" I nod as fast as I can. Springshit smirks and says "Fuck bitches and get wasted," as he finishes his booze and coughs up some coke. I tell him in excitement, "When I grow up, I wanna be just like you!" He then gestures for me to come closer. I turn my head to him as he whispers in my ear, "Good luck with that you stupid fucking cunt bitch twat." I pull away and he looks at me with a smug face. I feel myself clutching my fists, my forehead began to feel extremely hot, and then, suddenly, I squatted down, put my fists to my face, and yelled "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" as loud as possible. My hair spiked up, flames grew around me, and I could feel myself getting more and more powerful. My cock grew hard, my bowels released. I then ran up to Springshit, with my fist held right infront of me, and yelled "FUCK YOOOOOOUUUUUU" as my fist jammed itself into Springshit's mouth, and a bright white light appeared as I then passed out in the alley way. When I woke up, I was in the hospital. A doctor came into the room and said, "Ah, finally, you're awake. I bet you're wondering what happened!" I nodded and he sat on my bed and told me, "We found you in an alley way with two dead hookers and five scrapped animatronics." I felt myself about to cry when the doctor then told me, "One of those scrapped animatronics was Springshit, a mob boss we've been trying to catch forever. But you... you wasted him. You did the world a good thing. This guy is complete shit, he murdered children, and covered himself in purple paint because Barney is purple and can go near kids anytime. After this failed, he stuffed himself into an animatronic, it killed the animatronic, but it was the best sex he ever had." He then told me I will be able to leave as soon as I wanted. I immediately climbed out of bed, stole some pills from the hospital and ran home. When I walked in the door, I still heard the unspeakable noises of me mum. I then walked to my bedroom, and fell asleep in bed. I woke up at midnight, and noticed me mum's unspeakable noises were gone. My two doors were kept open, and my closet was cracked open. I grabbed my flashlight, climbed out of bed, went to the left door. When I turned on my flashlight, I saw a bud down the hallway. It was freshly smoked. I then went to the other door and heard the unspeakable noises of Chica Cuntnugget. I then realized... my drug addicted friends were going through withdraw and were after me because they blamed me for it. Foxy was in desperate need of a fix and was hiding in my closet. Behind me, Freddy Fuckboys little crackbaby fuckboy minions were on my bed, I pissed and had an explosive storm of liquid shit rip my pants in half, I passed out in that very puddle of piss and liquid shit." "Dad?" "Yes son?" "What the actual fuck was that?" "It was my child hood you dumb fuck" "Dad, stop calling me names!" "OH FUCK YOU, YOU'RE GROUNDED!"
The End.